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Topics - [u][i][b][move][size=99pt]CUNCE[/size][/move][u][i][b][move]

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Crap! / thingken bout life...
« on: December 07, 2015, 07:38:06 pm »
How is everyone doing in their life right now?

Like... where are you at, job, happy/sad? Hows fam going? Still at school? Who's picking on u?


General Games! / KayinQuest
« on: November 24, 2015, 06:44:35 pm »
You wake up.

You fucked up the forums style sheets in your sleep.

You didn't make a copy of the old code.

What do you do next?

Crap! / Re:
« on: November 01, 2015, 06:44:17 am »

Crap! / Swans fans?
« on: September 02, 2015, 12:36:24 pm »

New live album's out. These usually go pretty quick so if you missed the last one get on this one. You can also preorder their upcoming (May 2016) album, which will be the final swans album in this incarnation of the band + a live DVD.


You can't believe it. Not again. Third night in a row now you've popped a couple malcolms, put your best flares on and wangled your way on down to the local "Disko" only to have Phil Myole separate you from the gal you've been grinding and make off with her to the nearest Stop N' Swop 24 hour bargain bin tent display to rumble her johnnies. Time's moving on, you're almost 25 and if you don't wed soon your vaguely amish in-laws will cut off grain supply to the local town, pressuring your polytechnic to rescind your bursary leaving you on the dole once more; and then how are you going to afford to pop a couple malcolms every night? It's just not a feasible life strategy.

Woe is you. You briefly consider pimping yourself out as a "Cowboy Masseuse" before you catch a glimpse of an opportunity for another kind of self-degradation, a poster for a game show:

Underneath is a registration form which assures you that "true love and monetary reimbursement are just around the corner". Brilliant! You'll get to appease the relatives, keep your bursary and have a little extra malcolm money. You read through the terms and conditions: they sound decent, all you have to do is waive you human rights, sign a petition for the abolition of the geneva conventions and agree to being subjected to a new strain of laughing gas called "B7-SANDM4N" and after all that you are entitled to one pristine $35 dollar check mailed straight from The Al Jolson Associates Club Limited straight to your next of kin. You're not sure why they couldn't just give it to you, but hey, it's essentially free money.

You turn up the next day and start a free trial of "B7-SANDM4N" gaseous diluting sleep tablets. You fall asleep relatively peacefully, save for the screaming.

Some time later the lights come on, bright. You're in a pink room with 6 cubicles, each adorned with velveteen drapes. MR NüRG, your host, steps out from the dressing room doorway giggling as a limp hand slaps his left buttock. You look around: Hearts everywhere. Cupids everywhere. Lipstick smudges on the walls. Your nostrils flare up; love, palpably in the air, accompanied by chlamydia.

MR NüRG: Welcome to the first round of Lovely Love Lozenge. A lovingly crafted game show about love lives, lovely lies and perinatal infections. I'm your host Dr. John Nürg, Fjörnfelm's leading specialist in congenital hydrocephalus, dilutional hyponatremia, kernicterus and, love.

Doesn't he seem like a charming chap!

MR NüRG: Many thanks to our sponsors, "The Jefferson Goldham Zimoquinol Jobtechno Corporation" an independent research and entertainment company funded by the W. P. Shitlips Trust. The W standing for Willy and the P for poo of course.

You think to yourself, man this guy really has a way with words!

MR NüRG: So contestants, are you ready for your first round? Shortly you'll each be choosing a date from the 6 cubicles, but beforehand you have to freshen yourselves up. An unfortunate - and I promise, extremely rare - side-effect of the tablets is that your oral cavity will sometimes cultivate the stench of pickled fetlocks upon waking. Not to worry though! I've lined up 7 brilliantly, definitely market research approved, effective mouthwashes to try. There's only enough for one swig a contestant though, so get picking fast!

I Can't Believe it's not Windex™: Neko Desu - Hugh Janus
Blisterine: Infinite - Eaton Schitt
Ronald Rabies Definitely Not Rabies, Rabies Mouth Rinse: The Jooger - Dixon Borls
Saddam Hussein's Weapons of Plaque Destruction: infern0 - Holden McGroin
Oral-B Prototype-X#6 *RISK OF THROMBOTIC EXPLOSION*: Garrettp375 - Ben Dover
You're pretty sure someone's urine test has gotten mixed into the mouthwash pile: Katz - Mike Hunt
And finally, the most revolting looking of all, a regular bottle of Mountain Dew™: Fatih - Chris Peacock

1. Fatih - Chris Peacock
2. Garrettp375 - Ben Dover
3. infern0 - Holden McGroin
4. Neko Desu - Hugh Janus
5. Infinite - Eaton Schitt
6. Katz - Mike Hunt
7. The Jooger - Dixon Borls

« on: August 21, 2015, 09:22:45 pm »
any german speakers here?

Crap! / Best Album Artworks, round 2
« on: August 20, 2015, 05:30:34 pm »
We should get this going again.

Forbidden Wangtasy
- This Johnson Aint Free (Hell Babe, You Should Know By Now That Nuttin’ Is Free)

u know tha deal babies :~)))))))))))))))) pick a glow colour and a text colour, I'll be naming you this time x

1. Fatih - Chris Peacock
2. Garrettp375 - Ben Dover
3. infern0 - Holden McGroin
4. Neko Desu - Hugh Janus
5. Infinite - Eaton Schitt
6. Katz - Mike Hunt
7. The Jooger - Dixon Borls

Fangames! / I Wanna Get Through Hyades *Testers Wanted*
« on: August 12, 2015, 06:11:54 pm »

A wise man by the name of Moby once posited that "we are all made of stars", and this is true: every living being is made from not only the carbon but the nitrogen and oxygen created by stars many billions of years ago. This includes me, this includes you and this includes The Kid™. The very same star which would one day composite The Kid™, was named The StarKid™. He had a lot in common with his distant relative: he died in one hit, he could only have a maximum of 4 projectiles on the screen at once, and he even had an aversion to spiked objects and space-fruit. But he also differed slightly: he could jump as many times as he wanted, his bullets picked up velocity and did more damage the longer they were on the screen, and he had a girlfriend. The problem was, many billions of years ago, The StarKid™ became lost in space, far from where he was meant to slowly die out and offer up his festering space corpse to one day become The Kid™.

Can you help him get home? To die to one day create The Kid™? Or do you want him to die somewhere else and retcon the entire IWBTG fangame canon? Actually that doesn't sound too bad. Of course not! Get out there and save him!

The game content-wise is completed, but I need some people to test it to check for any last minute bugs and to smooth out the gameplay/difficulty. I will release as soon as I am happy that the game is balanced well enough and has passed enough quality checks. But I am looking for people willing to play through and be discerning. The game isn't massively long, I don't believe it's too hard either when you get the hang of things.

Here are some screenshots to whet your appetite:

Title Screen
Gameplay Screenshot #1
Gameplay Screenshot #2
Gameplay Screenshot #3

Fangames! / Recommended Fangames
« on: July 31, 2015, 06:30:07 pm »
I propose this thread as a replacement to the Fangames Worth Giving A Go thread. I'm not saying the fangames on there are bad, I just think that overall the list is an antiquated representation of the communities' feelings. Not just that but people have voted for the same games multiple times in that thread including people using alts to vote for games more than once. It was also last updated almost 9 months ago. Since it got out of hand so much I propose a new method of voting. You post once with all of your votes and then edit that post whenever you want to add at, remove from or otherwise change your votes. If you edit your post you post again, a new one this time, notifying me that you've changed your votes preferably with a link to your original post. This way all the votes are roughly in the same place and multiple votes won't be counted.

If this is accepted I believe the first port of call is re-voting on all games currently on the old list as either a +, a - or a "I am neutral on this game/haven't played it". Hopefully this works out.

(Also with all the votes being in early posts, people can use this thread to debate fangames and other people's votes later on without interfering with vote counting).

The List:
I Wanna Be The 8-Bit
I Wanna Be Myself
I Wanna Kill The Guy
Battle Kid

I'm Bored 1 Remastered Version - 1
I Wanna be the 8bit - 5
I Wanna be the Boshy - -1
I Wanna be Like Brisulph - 3
I Wanna be the Chair - 0
I Wanna be the Fangame! - -3
I Wanna be the GB - 0
I Wanna be the Hereditary Baldness 2 - 1
I Wanna be the Ultimatum - -5
I Wanna be Like Zoop - -7
I Wanna Kill the Kamilia 2 - 0
That Fucking Game 2 - 0
I Wanna be the Catharsis - 2
I Wanna Find My Destiny - 2
I wanna be the best guy 3 - +1
I dun wanna be anything 2 - +2
I wanna deliver a letter - +1
I wanna get cultured - +2
I wanna go the parallel world - +1
I'm Bored 2 - 2
I Wanna Be The Computer - Episode 2 - 0
I Wanna Be The Galaxy - 4
I Wanna Be Myself - 6
I Wanna Be The Patrick - 2
I Wanna Be The Retro (Old Version) - 1
I Wanna Be The Rip-off - -1
I Wanna Be The Rockman - 4
I Wanna Be The Sublime - 3
I Wanna Be The Weegee - 3
I Wanna Kill The Guy - 5
I Wanna Take The Time Machine - -1
The "Project" - 0
Not Another Needle Game - 3
Battle Kid - 5
Fangame: The Game - -2
Pickory! - -3
Anti-Spike Game - 1
I Wanna Be The Awesome - -1
I Wanna Be The Best Guy 3 - 1
I Wanna Be The Blue Needle - 1
I Wanna Defeat The Pixel - 1
I Wanna Be The Elisha - -1
I Wanna Escape Reality - 1
I Wanna Be The Gaming - -1
I Wanna Be The GayWizard - 1
I Wanna Get Some Money - 1
I Wanna Get The OOPARTS 3 - 1
I Wanna Go To The Tower - 1
I Wanna Have An Adventure In The Future - 1
I Wanna Be The Hero Again - 1
I Wanna Be The Journey - -1
I Wanna Kill The Blue Mage - 1
I Wanna Be The Meme - -1
I Wanna Be The Nostalgie - 1
I Wanna Be The Permanence 2 - 1
I Wanna Play The Sonic Drive - -1
I Wanna Be The Serial Experiments Kid - 1
I Wanna Be The Shy Guy - 1
I Wanna Be The Sky High - -1
Super Kid Bros 3 - 1
The Kid's New Adventures - 1
I Wanna Wanna - 1
I Wanna Be The XS - -1

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