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Author Topic: Excellent®Quest (Or: How I learned to stop worrying and embrace the alts)  (Read 7140 times)

Mort, the Lonely

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You unlock the door, and proceed outside the kitchen, when suddenly...


GIMME 20 DOLLAZ!


A few seconds of nothingness pass, and you wake up, back at your apartment. Your wrists are still hurting from the Farenheit reference, but Slenderman is gone. You breath a sigh of relief.
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Chef Excellence®

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"Oh, thank the Excellent® gods that it was only a dream!"

I rub my eyes in attempt to see better, as I look around my bedroom in my run down apartment. Being as Excellent® as I am does come at a price, and that price is that my home is not so Excellent®.
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Mort, the Lonely

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"Oh, thank the Excellent® gods that it was only a dream!" you say to nobody in particular, until you feel a searing pain in your wrists. You look down and see the snakes still carved in there.

IT WASN'T A DREAM *shockedface.jpg*
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Chef Excellence®

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OH DEAR GOD NO *shockedface.jpg*

In a fit of rage, confusion, and overall shock, I run over to the nearest window and proceed to jump through it. I don't even make any attempt to open said window at all, I go through it glass pane and all.
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Venser

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And then you die.

GAME OVER

PRESS R TO TRY AGAIN
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Ybbald: I read that as "deadly venser"
Ybbald: and I was like
Ybbald: "when is venser NOT deadly?"

Arkhanno: We'll have to out-source to the US. I know of a great doctor with lifeguard training that can do anything with a 90% success rate

Evan20k: Sherlock Holmes didn't have 5 arms and 6 penises and lifeguard training

ybbald

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Chef Excellence®

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RRRRRRRRRRR
RR           RR
RR           RR
RR        RR
RRRRRRRRRRR
RR            RR
RR             RR
RR             RR
RR             RR
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Mort, the Lonely

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You plummet downwards, but suddenly you stop falling in mid-air.

"No no no, this won't do at all. Genki, prepare the time vortex... NOW!"

You are back in your room before you jumped through the window.
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Chef Excellence®

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I look around my surroundings, to which I find that I'm back in my apartment, unscathed as though my brief suicidal tendencies had never happened.

I suddenly start to yell, as if I'm talking to some mythical God,

"Alright, for everything that is Excellent® in this world, please tell me what the HELL is going on here?! And where's my goddamn hat?"
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Mort, the Lonely

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A hat lands on your head. It's a Wizards hat.
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UR A WIZARD 'ARRY

I pull the hat off of my head and stare deeply inside of its dark void.

"How very Excellently® odd," I ponder out loud...
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Mort, the Lonely

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Re: Excellent®Quest (Or: How I learned to stop worrying and embrace the alts)
« Reply #26 on: October 28, 2015, 06:11:02 am »

You awaken in a cold, dank, dark prison cell. A few bones litter the floor, and a calender on the wall reveals that it is now 4 years later, meaning you have no recollection of the past 4 years.

(All about that Excellent® slow burn!)
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Re: Excellent®Quest (Or: How I learned to stop worrying and embrace the alts)
« Reply #27 on: October 29, 2015, 08:58:56 pm »

I look around and take in my surroundings, wondering what the hell just occurred.

"That's what ol' Jeffery gets for staring into a wizard's hat," I say aloud to myself. "Hats off to you, you Excellent® Chef!"
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Mort, the Lonely

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Re: Excellent®Quest (Or: How I learned to stop worrying and embrace the alts)
« Reply #28 on: October 30, 2015, 09:07:21 am »

You would take your hat off for yourself you pretentious fart gobbler, but your hat is still missing.

And now so are your shoes, replaced with pink bedazzled crocs.
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Re: Excellent®Quest (Or: How I learned to stop worrying and embrace the alts)
« Reply #29 on: October 31, 2015, 03:44:11 pm »

Take off the crocs to investigate if there are any usable items inside or outside of them. If not, begrudgingly put them back on. Afterwards, attempt to take any bones and open the cell door by using a bone to pick any visible lock, using a bone as a club to bash down the door and by throwing a bone outside of the cell to make noise to draw attention to myself, in that specific order.
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