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[liquidCorgster]

Normally someone else would be running illustrious lying cuntbagquest: Origins, but this is a unique case: I am running it and YOU get to act!
No lame introduction. No excuses. Let's get straight to it.

BE ATTITUDE FOR GAINS:
-The first poster's action after an update will be the next action taken if I approve. I will most certainly always approve.
-The same poster cannot act twice in a row. If your action was accepted last update, your post will be ignored.
-The impossible is possible. Try anything. illustrious lying cuntbag moves to fill his surroundings.
-Try to chain together "Action Combos" which will increase your critical strike chance.
-Once your critical chance passes one hundred percent, you will trigger a Critical Burst, which increases the spawn rate of rare monsters.
-Defeating ten rare monsters in a row during a Critical Burst will cause a Cross-Burst Bonanza, which causes your held currency to skyrocket.
-Once your approval rating is at 100%, you will unlock the secret ending and marriage option.
-You cannot get ye flask.



>You are illustrious lying cuntbag, an abnoxiously bishounen teenager with needlessly long blonde hair.
>Sunday afternoons are always awful. You sit in your room, splayed on your bed in front of your laptop. In Google Chrome, you have at least twenty tabs open and nothing to look at. You feel a slight pressure in your bladder.

>What do you do?

[sans]

>Proceed to remove the battery from my laptop and shove it down my pants.

You never know when  one of those can come in handy.

[liquidCorgster]

>Remove the battery from my laptop and shove it down my pants.

>You yank the bulky battery pack out from the back of the computer and the screen unceremoniously fades to black. You then press the battery against the bare skin of your inner thigh. It falls onto the bed, bouncing once, for you see, you are not wearing pants.

[DraconicDescendant]

> Will self to teleport to bathroom

[liquidCorgster]

> Will self to teleport to bathroom

>You imagine yourself teleporting to the bathroom two feet from your bedroom door. You feel the beginning of great revelation come to you, but just as quickly as it comes, it is gone. You are not as powerful as you fancy. Not yet.

[sans]

>Look at my damn sexy self then proceed to look about my room for anything out of the ordinary, providing my blonde hair doesn't cover my vision.

[liquidCorgster]

>Look at my damn sexy self then proceed to look about my room for anything out of the ordinary, providing my blonde hair doesn't cover my vision.

>You look into the black screen of your laptop, which now mirrors your features.
>Your face shows a mixture of strong Nordic ancestry with a heaping touch of Native American for good measure. Your eyes are as grey as Athena's eyes. You like to fancy you've "seen some shit", as the kids these days like to say, but you're really just a naive brat. You wear a forest green bathrobe.
>Conveniently, your hair does not obscure your vision, and you are able to make out the features of your room. Your walls are covered with blades--from hunting knives to claymore swords. This is because you love the medieval period of history, and something like 95% of video game protagonists use a sword. You see your Nintendo DS on your night stand, which sits proudly on top of your yearbook. Your cellphone is in your lap.

[DraconicDescendant]

> Pick out two swords and flail them around with masterful kata

[liquidCorgster]

> Pick out two swords and flail them around with masterful kata

>Standing up from your bed, you grasp two short, curved blades that sit upon a stand on a high shelf. You summon all of your knowledge of katas as you make graceful, sweeping slashes in the narrow space of your room, narrowly avoiding self-injury. All of those Kendo lessons really paid off.
>Your knowledge of Swordplay goes up by two points!

[Neo]

>Put battery back in. Go on IWBTF and find this thread and post in it.

[liquidCorgster]

>Put battery back in. Go on IWBTF and find this thread and post in it.

>You scoop the hefty battery from your quilted comforter and plug it into the back of your computer. After you boot it up, you navigate to kayin.pyoko.org/iwbtg/forums/index.php
>Oops! Google Chrome could not find kayin.pyoko.org/iwbtg/forums/index.php

[sans]

Oh shit. Unplugging the battery killed the Wi-Fi connection.

>Grab one of the curved swords from before and plug it into a USB slot. If it doesn't connect, force it until it does.

[liquidCorgster]

>Grab one of the curved swords from before and plug it into a USB slot. If it doesn't connect, force it until it does.

>You take the shorter of the two curved swords and gingerly plug it in to one of your available USB slots.
>A folder pops up that automatically runs sword.exe; you now have a virtual sword on your PC!
>Your knowledge of Technomancy goes up by three points!

[DraconicDescendant]

> Strip off clothes and run into shower, turning it on and urinate while showering

[liquidCorgster]

> Strip off clothes and run into shower, turning it on and urinate while showering

>You remove your bathrobe, socks, and underwear, jumping into the shower. You scrub your skin vigorously with a loofah as you urinate, relieving the pressure in your bladder.
>After you are all nice and clean, you turn off the shower and dry off with a towel.