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Author Topic: The most exciting thing i've ever done  (Read 1412 times)

Garrettp375

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The most exciting thing i've ever done
« on: August 19, 2015, 05:24:57 am »

So I was setting down my headset when my door-bell rang, the headset spun around my hand when I tried to run to the door. I was not pleased and shook the headset off my hand, it kinda did what I can only describe as a jump over my head and gave me a total Yosuke Hanamura headset around the neck look. I believe that my life has been leading up to this moment.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2015, 10:34:37 pm by Garrettp375 »
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telemorph

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2015, 06:09:00 pm »

legendary post
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Fatih

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2015, 06:25:43 pm »

can you say that a little clearer
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Garrettp375

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2015, 06:47:03 pm »

can you say that a little clearer
Yee, edited. Tried to write this at like 3 in the morning whilst trying to recall the best thing ever.

infern0man1

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2015, 08:41:15 pm »

dudenice

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2015, 10:10:43 pm »

I ate an ink pen once. The package was all "environmentally friendly pen made of corn." I thought, "Hey, I like corn!" So I ate it. Most of it, anyway. I obviously took out the nib and ink tube in the middle. And I definitely pooped out shreds of plastic for days.

All in all, I give it a 1/10. Do not recommend.
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Garrettp375

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #6 on: August 20, 2015, 08:49:12 am »

If one more person post an amzing stroy we neec to sticky this as a cancer moment thread...

Cantavanda

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2015, 11:16:51 am »

I ate an ink pen once. The package was all "environmentally friendly pen made of corn." I thought, "Hey, I like corn!" So I ate it. Most of it, anyway. I obviously took out the nib and ink tube in the middle. And I definitely pooped out shreds of plastic for days.

All in all, I give it a 1/10. Do not recommend.


0/10 humour. Do not immitate.
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Fatih

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2015, 12:17:23 pm »

i was on a bus and everyone had shitty ios
then finally after everyones ios diedmine died an hour after
they point and laugh at me
in a pocket i take out a spare batter and replace
100%
they stared at me
some of them asked if they can use i said no

thats how i lost all my reputation
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infern0man1

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2015, 04:57:08 pm »

>Traveling to friend's house for holidays.
>Poorfag, go by bus.
>Twelve hours so far, driving through the night.
>All night, this little shit, about ten, has been screaming and acting up.
>Playing Pokemon on his 3DS, announces every attack in horrible screeching voice, sound effects included.
>Four hours in the battery dies, bus has power points so his Mom puts it on charger.
>Kid wriggling about and bitching because the battery doesn't charge quickly enough to keep playing right away.
>Goes up to several other people in the bus.
>"Give me your phone." "I want your game."
>Most people ignore him, some politely say no.
>He tries to take them anyway.
>Big black dude with iPad tells kid to go sit down when kid tries to take it.
>Mom not pleased, "Hey, don't you dare speak to my son like that you apre. You probably can't even use that properly."
>Black dude pissed, but obviously used to this shit. Also has pretty proper accent, Fresh Prince shit.
>"Please Ma'am, don't hold us responsible for amusing your child when it was your poor judgement to believe your prom date would pull out."
>shotsfired.jpg
>Mom about to go ape, Blackbro smiling, kid trying to steal another kid's PSP.
>Bus driver tells everybody to calm down or they'll get kicked off.
>Kid sits back down, but still bitches until he can play again.
>Doesn't know how to play the game, keeps getting ass kicked by computer.
>Continues until he passes out.
>Get a few hours of sleep, neck fucked all week from seats.
>8AM next morning, bus pulls into small shopping village.
>Kid woke up an hour ago, usual shit going on, everybody visibly pissed at him and his Mom.
>Pull into gas station/shopping center.
>Everybody wandering around, getting breakfast.
>Kid is just pulling stuff off the shelves and stuffing his face with it.
>Sugar rush activated.
>Loops around the store, around and around.
>His Mom is just sitting by the coffee stand at the store entrance, reading her tiny fucking novel at one page every ten minutes.
>He starts swearing with the full vocabulary of a angsty teenager, knocking stuff off stands and displays with his arms.
>I'm in the aisle next to the one he's in, near the end.
>A few stray cans of vegetables are sitting in the space under the shelf.
>Go for gold, lean down, slide can under shelf and into next aisle.
>Direct hit, hits his left foot and sends him into a half cartwheel while still maintaining forward momentum.
>Fucking swear, he looks like a cartoon, completely horizontal airtime.
>But then gravity.jpg
>Hits floor, keeps going thanks to super polished tiles.
>Oh look, a giant pyramid of some liquid soap.
>Extra value, galon bottles. Dis gon be good.
>Into the base he goes, bottles crash down around him.
>Caps fly off, soap steadily puddling around him.
>Mommy dearest sees this, goes into full sprint.
>Soap.
>If the soap didn't break anything, her body sliding into him would.
>She is just stunned, while he's crying and trying to run away.
>Still slipping around, can't get footing.
>Store owners running to assist while all the passengers are laughing at the two stooges doing their prat fall act.
>I am hero.
>Black dude drops class act and goes all "Shit homie!" on me.
>Buys me breakfast.
>Afterwards, everything is cleaned up.
>As much as we begged for him to leave, the bus driver refused to leave without the kid and Mom.
>She emerges from the store, looking like Shrek had bukkaked her.
>Kid has massive bruise along all the left side of his face from her he hit the floor.
>She peels matted hair off her face/
>"I will find out which one of you did this to my darling, baby boy."
>Pffft, not in a store without security cameras bitch.
>Back on the bus, riding a high from nearly slaughtering the antichrist.
>Four hours left, and then we transfer onto another bus.
>Kid still bitching, but this time about his entire body aching.
>Should be annoying, but is just music to all of us.
>He falls asleep the rest of the way, I get in some shuteye too after a shit night.
>Wake up as bus pulls into some small shithole of a town.
>We all get off, some leave, some sit and wait for the next bus.
>Mom is very obviously, pissed, sticky, tired, and sore.
>After sitting there for half and hour, fuming silently.
>She stands up and angry-trods over to Blackbro.
>"You did this didn't you, you savage."
>He calmly denies.
>She's on a rant, pointing at people like her finger can shoot bullets.
>Few of the locals are hanging around.
>Mostly black.
>She isn't stupid enough to blatantly say anything racist to Blackbro, who is still calm as fuck.
>Back and forth, she yells, he denies.
>Finally, she says "I've had it with you people."
>Starts walking away.
>Blackbro; "What do you mean you people?"
>It was obvious to everybody she only meant the other passengers, but Blackbro just used the Niggermancer's special trap card.
>She's had it.
>"I mean you fucking filthy, kid beating nigger!"
>On and on she goes, spouting 'nigger' enough to embarrass Dave Chappelle.
>After a couple of minutes she runs out of breath and slows down.
>Blackbro; "Shouldn't have said nigger lady."
>"Oh why, you gonna beat me too you fucking monkey?"
>Blackbro; "I'm not."
>Sits back, opens up newspaper and starts reading.
>Mom just confused for a moment, but then turns around.
>Remember how I mentioned that all the locals were black.
>Frowns everywhere.
>Three portly Shanaynays, dolled up in slutty makeup, fake nails and leopard print.
>"Where you think you goin' honey?"
>Nigress Unit #1 swings into her stomach, Mom bends over in pain.
>Nigress Unit #2 comes in and kicks her in the left shin, knocking her foot off balance.
>As she falls, Nigress Unit #3 comes forward and grabs her by the hair, adding to her momentum.
>Face lands squarely on Unit #3's giant tree trunk leg knee.
>She's out, kid's crying, crowd begins to disperse.
>I buy Blackbro lunch.
>Bus shows up just around the time the cops do, we all get on and book it as Mom comes to.
>She begins to run after the as it starts, but realises the futility and turns back.
>Last we see of her is her screaming at her kid.
>I remember her mentioning the trip was about important business, lol fuck her.

Garrettp375

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2015, 05:11:16 pm »

>Traveling to friend's house for holidays.
>Poorfag, go by bus.
>Twelve hours so far, driving through the night.
>All night, this little shit, about ten, has been screaming and acting up.
>Playing Pokemon on his 3DS, announces every attack in horrible screeching voice, sound effects included.
>Four hours in the battery dies, bus has power points so his Mom puts it on charger.
>Kid wriggling about and bitching because the battery doesn't charge quickly enough to keep playing right away.
>Goes up to several other people in the bus.
>"Give me your phone." "I want your game."
>Most people ignore him, some politely say no.
>He tries to take them anyway.
>Big black dude with iPad tells kid to go sit down when kid tries to take it.
>Mom not pleased, "Hey, don't you dare speak to my son like that you apre. You probably can't even use that properly."
>Black dude pissed, but obviously used to this shit. Also has pretty proper accent, Fresh Prince shit.
>"Please Ma'am, don't hold us responsible for amusing your child when it was your poor judgement to believe your prom date would pull out."
>shotsfired.jpg
>Mom about to go ape, Blackbro smiling, kid trying to steal another kid's PSP.
>Bus driver tells everybody to calm down or they'll get kicked off.
>Kid sits back down, but still bitches until he can play again.
>Doesn't know how to play the game, keeps getting ass kicked by computer.
>Continues until he passes out.
>Get a few hours of sleep, neck fucked all week from seats.
>8AM next morning, bus pulls into small shopping village.
>Kid woke up an hour ago, usual shit going on, everybody visibly pissed at him and his Mom.
>Pull into gas station/shopping center.
>Everybody wandering around, getting breakfast.
>Kid is just pulling stuff off the shelves and stuffing his face with it.
>Sugar rush activated.
>Loops around the store, around and around.
>His Mom is just sitting by the coffee stand at the store entrance, reading her tiny fucking novel at one page every ten minutes.
>He starts swearing with the full vocabulary of a angsty teenager, knocking stuff off stands and displays with his arms.
>I'm in the aisle next to the one he's in, near the end.
>A few stray cans of vegetables are sitting in the space under the shelf.
>Go for gold, lean down, slide can under shelf and into next aisle.
>Direct hit, hits his left foot and sends him into a half cartwheel while still maintaining forward momentum.
>Fucking swear, he looks like a cartoon, completely horizontal airtime.
>But then gravity.jpg
>Hits floor, keeps going thanks to super polished tiles.
>Oh look, a giant pyramid of some liquid soap.
>Extra value, galon bottles. Dis gon be good.
>Into the base he goes, bottles crash down around him.
>Caps fly off, soap steadily puddling around him.
>Mommy dearest sees this, goes into full sprint.
>Soap.
>If the soap didn't break anything, her body sliding into him would.
>She is just stunned, while he's crying and trying to run away.
>Still slipping around, can't get footing.
>Store owners running to assist while all the passengers are laughing at the two stooges doing their prat fall act.
>I am hero.
>Black dude drops class act and goes all "Shit homie!" on me.
>Buys me breakfast.
>Afterwards, everything is cleaned up.
>As much as we begged for him to leave, the bus driver refused to leave without the kid and Mom.
>She emerges from the store, looking like Shrek had bukkaked her.
>Kid has massive bruise along all the left side of his face from her he hit the floor.
>She peels matted hair off her face/
>"I will find out which one of you did this to my darling, baby boy."
>Pffft, not in a store without security cameras bitch.
>Back on the bus, riding a high from nearly slaughtering the antichrist.
>Four hours left, and then we transfer onto another bus.
>Kid still bitching, but this time about his entire body aching.
>Should be annoying, but is just music to all of us.
>He falls asleep the rest of the way, I get in some shuteye too after a shit night.
>Wake up as bus pulls into some small shithole of a town.
>We all get off, some leave, some sit and wait for the next bus.
>Mom is very obviously, pissed, sticky, tired, and sore.
>After sitting there for half and hour, fuming silently.
>She stands up and angry-trods over to Blackbro.
>"You did this didn't you, you savage."
>He calmly denies.
>She's on a rant, pointing at people like her finger can shoot bullets.
>Few of the locals are hanging around.
>Mostly black.
>She isn't stupid enough to blatantly say anything racist to Blackbro, who is still calm as fuck.
>Back and forth, she yells, he denies.
>Finally, she says "I've had it with you people."
>Starts walking away.
>Blackbro; "What do you mean you people?"
>It was obvious to everybody she only meant the other passengers, but Blackbro just used the Niggermancer's special trap card.
>She's had it.
>"I mean you fucking filthy, kid beating nigger!"
>On and on she goes, spouting 'nigger' enough to embarrass Dave Chappelle.
>After a couple of minutes she runs out of breath and slows down.
>Blackbro; "Shouldn't have said nigger lady."
>"Oh why, you gonna beat me too you fucking monkey?"
>Blackbro; "I'm not."
>Sits back, opens up newspaper and starts reading.
>Mom just confused for a moment, but then turns around.
>Remember how I mentioned that all the locals were black.
>Frowns everywhere.
>Three portly Shanaynays, dolled up in slutty makeup, fake nails and leopard print.
>"Where you think you goin' honey?"
>Nigress Unit #1 swings into her stomach, Mom bends over in pain.
>Nigress Unit #2 comes in and kicks her in the left shin, knocking her foot off balance.
>As she falls, Nigress Unit #3 comes forward and grabs her by the hair, adding to her momentum.
>Face lands squarely on Unit #3's giant tree trunk leg knee.
>She's out, kid's crying, crowd begins to disperse.
>I buy Blackbro lunch.
>Bus shows up just around the time the cops do, we all get on and book it as Mom comes to.
>She begins to run after the as it starts, but realises the futility and turns back.
>Last we see of her is her screaming at her kid.
>I remember her mentioning the trip was about important business, lol fuck her.
We have achieved nirvana.....

Fatih

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2015, 08:11:12 pm »

>1:42 in sweden when im typing
>reads infernos wall of greentext
>thinks sexual stuff involving him when suddenly door in room closes
>"What the fuck everyones asleep tho"
>thought it was wind
>blankets rustling
>HOLYSHIT.gif
>scared af
>NOW SOMETHINGS ON MY LEGS AND IS CRAWLING UP AND IT SEEMS TO BE HUMAN
>"fati-kun~"
>that voice
>sweating profusely
>what the hell is going on
>I lift blanket
>its prime waifu yuyuko
>holyfuckthiscantbereal.png
>"What the fuck yuyuko im a fat bastard who will never get a 3d girlfriend"
>she shuts my mouth with finger
>"its okay fati-kun, youre the bitch this time"
>She starts undressing on me
>holy fuck im getting hornty
>i can almost see her nips
>Im ready to go full out and bang her
>Suddenly on the other side of wall is a thump
>we pause, worried
>sudenly footsteps
>FUCK MY UNCLE WOKE UP FOR A PISS
>Motion her into blind spot of darkness
>door opens
>a candle made of ear wax appears
>ITS FUCKING SHREK
>I get up from bed ready to protect my mate
>"prepare for the shrekkonning" as he hulk smashes and i roll aside
>Rewind Rust
>kinda hurts him
>still mad tho
>"GET OUT ME SWAMP"
>Does fatal mortal stomp on me
>im coughing up blood
>i cant fucking handle it
>rolls sideways
>kneels up
>i must do this to save yuyuko
>I SKYWARD SCREAM
>"GUARDIANS OF GUARDIANS, MIBI! GIVE ME YOUR POWER!!!'"
>goes full out last word, one ice wind, rocks floating around me, water spheres circulating around me Mibi appears as the green in my eyes and a metal spins around me
>sprints towards shrek with war cry
>shrek preparing
>"DREAMER SCREAMER!"
>hes frozen in time
>"CATHARSIS
>EPIDEMIC!!!"
>Deal major blows a thousand combos to major organs
>create a ball of existence, hold the huge as sphere which envelopes him
>"For her sake, I will not fail."
>bammy cawammy whammy, he vanishes as he groans in hell
>I turn back to normal
>levelup x5
>thats so little exp for a lvl 1826 like me
>go back into bed
>do usual hentai stuff
>she goes to netherworld afterwards
> we duke it out every 5 days afterwards
>i am a king
>mfw
« Last Edit: August 21, 2015, 10:12:22 am by Fatih »
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LOLGAMMER

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Re: The most exciting thing i've ever done
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2015, 10:19:18 am »

that was hilarious
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