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Author Topic: Laugh = Lose  (Read 794860 times)

ybbald

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #435 on: August 31, 2009, 09:44:49 pm »

THERE ARE LEGS
FUCKING LEGS
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DraconicDescendant

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #436 on: August 31, 2009, 09:47:09 pm »

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Venser

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #437 on: August 31, 2009, 09:54:47 pm »

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Ybbald: I read that as "deadly venser"
Ybbald: and I was like
Ybbald: "when is venser NOT deadly?"

Arkhanno: We'll have to out-source to the US. I know of a great doctor with lifeguard training that can do anything with a 90% success rate

Evan20k: Sherlock Holmes didn't have 5 arms and 6 penises and lifeguard training

ybbald

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #438 on: August 31, 2009, 09:58:50 pm »

:P
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Venser

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #439 on: August 31, 2009, 10:02:27 pm »


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Ybbald: I read that as "deadly venser"
Ybbald: and I was like
Ybbald: "when is venser NOT deadly?"

Arkhanno: We'll have to out-source to the US. I know of a great doctor with lifeguard training that can do anything with a 90% success rate

Evan20k: Sherlock Holmes didn't have 5 arms and 6 penises and lifeguard training

ybbald

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #440 on: August 31, 2009, 10:07:16 pm »

I had it until the tombstones
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yoshi

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #441 on: August 31, 2009, 10:12:38 pm »

Those were spider legs? I thought those were cracks in the wall.
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Indeed, my green-skinned prehensile-tongued fellow. Indeed.

Rad

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #442 on: September 01, 2009, 01:13:13 am »

Draco, i almost lost at the onion video.
but im still in.
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"I want Rad's dick."

Sibare

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #443 on: September 01, 2009, 12:05:02 pm »




« Last Edit: September 01, 2009, 12:14:13 pm by Ex Nihilo »
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Evan20000

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #444 on: September 01, 2009, 12:20:32 pm »

I laughed at the online dating one.

The dog one wasn't funny at all. D:<
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Your videos could just be you in a Nazi outfit, shitting into a bucket while doing the can-can and they'd already be miles ahead of Pewdiepie.

Sibare

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #445 on: September 01, 2009, 12:22:20 pm »

Ho hum. It's an acquired taste, I suppose.
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Venser

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #446 on: September 01, 2009, 04:12:23 pm »

I had it until the tombstones
When I was looking around and found that picture, I lost on the time travel one.
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Ybbald: I read that as "deadly venser"
Ybbald: and I was like
Ybbald: "when is venser NOT deadly?"

Arkhanno: We'll have to out-source to the US. I know of a great doctor with lifeguard training that can do anything with a 90% success rate

Evan20k: Sherlock Holmes didn't have 5 arms and 6 penises and lifeguard training

ybbald

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #448 on: September 01, 2009, 07:58:44 pm »

FML bonus round!

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

Today, I was strolling past an old women when from behind she called "can you help me get the rest of the groceries out of the car?" I approached the car, and helped her un-load bags. She began hitting me, screaming "SOMEONE IS STEALING MY THINGS". She was actually asking her son in the car. FML


Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML

Today, I was at my only sister's wedding. She gave a speech about the person who means the most to her. She said, "She is my favorite sister who has always been there for me." Being her only sister, I got up to hug her. Turns out she was talking about her slutty sorority sister. Not me. FML

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

Today, my best friend informed me that I could not be her maid of honour because I "wasn't as pretty as the other bridesmaids" and she wanted her wedding photos to have "consistancy". FML

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

Today, I was helping my mom pack for our family vacation. We were both talking about how excited we were, when she turns to me and says, "Would you be offended if I asked you not to come? It's just... I want to have fun." FML

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

Today, it was my father's wedding. He never really cared for me, and his fiancee is my age, but I thought it would mean a lot to him if I went. I was supposed to wait for his call the day before, so he would give me directions and tell me when it starts. He never called. FML

Today, I was on the webcam with my boyfriend. I could see that he was on the couch, and alone, so I took off my shirt and smiled, waiting to see his reaction. He smiled at me but then kept looking in another direction. I playfully asked "What's so distracting?" His answer: "History Channel". FML

Today, I left for college. I spent hundreds of dollars on clothes, bedding and other things. After packing my entire closet and everything else I needed, I left only to have to head back home. My dad forgot to pay the first semesters tuition. He said "Oh well, you would have failed out anyway." FML

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3AM. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted so loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiouxly at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

Today, I was doing my monthly day of laundry. Apparently, I didn't check all the pockets in my jeans and missed a lighter in a back pocket. The firemen said an exploding drier was the most interesting call they have got this year. FML

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML
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ybbald

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Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #449 on: September 01, 2009, 08:13:33 pm »

Today, I woke up and my little brother was crying. Last night I got compelety loaded and thought I drowned a fish. I didn't feel that bad because fish live in water. It was actually my brother's new hamster. FML

Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of that smell of marijuana in the house. So I confess and tell her I will never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML

Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

Today, my dad met my boyfriend. The first words out of my dad's mouth were "If my daughter sees your penis, I'll cut it off". FML

Today, I was driving past a farm that always has 4 chickens walking around outside. It always cheers me up to see them, but I couldn't find them. I wasn't watching the road so I didn't see when I ran over all 4 chickens. FML

Today, my mother told me I should think about quitting school. She explained that the reason was because she didn't want me to be more successful than my older sisters. FML

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML

Today I was supposed to give a presentation to the incoming freshman about the dangers of drinking in college. My co-presenter showed up drunk. FML

Today, I found out why my parents have been trying to convince me not to go to college this year. I also found out where the $20,000 they just spent on landscaping came from. My college fund. Which is now $0. FML

Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML

Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friends just don't text me back. FML

Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML

Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML

Today, while at an amusement park my husband left me to walk with all of our friends because he said that I moved too slow. I'm pregnant. FML

Today, my 5-year-old daughter saw a pad commercial. She asked me what they were, but I didn't think she was old enough to hear it. I just told her that they're like diapers for mommies. Now she won't stop telling people that mommy wears diapers. FML
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