I Wanna Be The Forums!

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Gaiden 1.2 patch released. Click here to download!

Pages: 1 ... 43 44 [45] 46 47 ... 589

Author Topic: Laugh = Lose  (Read 797201 times)

Silver

  • Herd Leader
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 1239
  • Inifinty - so far away yet around us at all times.
    • View Profile
    • DarkLiteEntertainment
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #660 on: September 10, 2009, 04:18:07 pm »

Already seen them. So it didn't work.
I've only laughed at one thing in this thread.
Logged
Because pickles.

Evan20000

  • Nuke 'em
  • Administrator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 4084
  • Forum Archangel
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #661 on: September 10, 2009, 04:20:52 pm »

What was that?
Logged

Your videos could just be you in a Nazi outfit, shitting into a bucket while doing the can-can and they'd already be miles ahead of Pewdiepie.

Rad

  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 2223
  • Radical Dood
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #662 on: September 10, 2009, 07:05:08 pm »

seriously guys, 44 pages.

this thread is not funny.
You just figured that out, after 44 pages?

did you really just ask me that?
Logged
"I want Rad's dick."

Banzai ☼

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 636
  • Let's get it on!
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #663 on: September 10, 2009, 07:07:18 pm »

seriously guys, 44 pages.

this thread is not funny.
You just figured that out, after 44 pages?

did you really just ask me that?
Did you seriously just ask me if I asked that?
Logged

Silver

  • Herd Leader
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 1239
  • Inifinty - so far away yet around us at all times.
    • View Profile
    • DarkLiteEntertainment
Logged
Because pickles.

DraconicDescendant

  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 1995
  • Sexy-ass smoke ganks
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #665 on: September 10, 2009, 07:48:36 pm »











Logged

Yule

  • Chaotic Evil Moderator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 4190
  • Ooh La La
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #666 on: September 10, 2009, 08:01:14 pm »

Lots o' smiles
Only a few that have made me really try to hold it in.
Logged
"I'm pretty sure the microwave fucks with my internet, hold on for like a minute thirty to microwave my spaghetti." - Rob Lineback 2014

Sarah

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 256
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #667 on: September 11, 2009, 12:24:03 am »

Many years ago, a powerful dragon had attacked a town. Many have tried to kill it but nobody succeeded; arrows and magic just bounced right off its rigid scales and swords could not penetrate the skin. Even large cannonballs couldn't affect the dragon at all.

The town lived fearful of this dragon for many years, hoping that they wouldn't turn out soon as its next meal. One day, a young priest's sister was caught and eaten by the dragon. The priest swore revenge on the beast and had sworn to kill it by any means necessary.

The priest had attempted to hire a few mercenaries and warriors to fight off the dragon, but everyone refused. They laughed, knowing that the dragon was invincible and that there was no way to kill or even harm the beast. One day, the priest had uncovered a mysterious tome in the ruins of a library that was destroyed by the dragon. It was written completely in a language he couldn't understand, but he knew that his friend Derek would be able to translate it.

The priest heads back to town and walked up to Derek's house. It was a large, majestic building, one that would look like the home of the Gods themselves. He knocked on the door.

"Yes? Can I help you?"

"Derek!", the priest replied. "I need your help."

"Ah, Harrison, I was hoping to hear from you again. It's been too long."

Derek granted the young priest entry. They sat down in his study. The priest holds up the book and asks, "Do you think you can translate this for me?"

Derek replies, "A whole book? Seriously?"

"Yes, I think it may help us kill that dragon that's been terrorizing our town."

"Okay, fine, but I'm going to need at least a week to translate this. I'll see you then."

The priest waved goodbye to Derek and headed home. He said a silent prayer to the Gods in hope of success in his journey and slept.

A week later, the priest hurriedly returns to Derek's house, unable to wait longer. Fortunately, Derek had finished and returned the book. "Thanks", the priest replied as he went back home to read.

The book was mostly filled with stories of dragons and their habitat, lifestyle, and other aspects of dragonkind. There was a select chapter that had caught his eye; slaying dragons. It read:

"Dragons are very dangerous beasts; any living near human settlement should immediately be dealt with. Most can easily be brought down by an army or even a powerful individual, but there are some species of dragons - most notably the Runic Dragon - that cannot be defeated by normal weaponry. They have been enchanted with magic since birth, unable to feel any pain. However, there is a weapon, the Sword of the Gods, that can cut through anything, even a Runic Dragon's scaly hide. The Sword of the Gods was passed through the family of Majistere, the eldest son having inherited the blade upon his father's death. The Majistere family's home is located in North Wirrok."

The priest packed his bags and saddled up his horse and rode to North Wirrok. It was a fairly simple trek, mainly because there was no trolls living on the path. Very fortunate, since trolls are very common and dangerous.

He arrives in North Wirrok and asks a citizen "Where can I find the Majistere family's house?"

"Oi, ya think ya can just waltz in here 'n talk to them Majisteres?" The woman replied. "Well, ya ain't goin' in there. Them Majistere folk ain't not been seen in yeers", she jested.

The priest sighed and asked "Please ma'am, just help me out here."

"Hah, nuttin' I can do for ya sonny. Rumor is that the Majistere don't even live here anymore!"

"Okay, thank you." The priest dejectedly stated and walked to the town hall. He repeated the same question to a short, old man behind the counter. "Where can I find the Majistere family's house?"

"Majistere, eh? Gimme a sec, guv." The priest waited while simultaneously thinking about everyone's odd accent. Not like anyone back at home. "Nope sonny, it seems that they moved to South Wirrok fiddy-scheven years ago, when Sargent Clyde was called there for help."

"Thank you" the priest sighed as he left town and headed south.

The trail was long and uneventful. It takes at least a week to travel all the way from North to South Wirrok on horseback, assuming trolls don't attack. On the fourth night, the priest heard something moving in a nearby bush.

"Come out!" He shouted as he pulled the bow off his back.

Nothing came out. The bush just snarled and shook violently. The priest readied a silver arrow. He pulled back on the string and pointed at the bush.

"Come out or I will shoot!" Suddenly, a large wolf pounced out and tackled the horse. The horse squealed and darted off, throwing off the priest. The priest got up and retrieved his bow. He readied an arrow again and shot at the wolf. It whizzed just past the wolf's head, missing it. The wolf had then lunged at the priest and knocked him over. The priest was pinned down; the wolf snarling. The priest had pulled out a knife from his pocket and had lunged up to stab the wolf just as it was coming down to bite his jugular vein. The wolf jumped back in pain! Blood was flooding out of its chest and the wolf ran away from the fight, never to be seen by the priest again.

The fight was won, but at a cost. The horse was long gone, the supplies with it. The priest had no food, no water, nothing but his bow, quiver, arrows, and knife. He started limping forward, promising revenge on the dragon. Shortly after, he had passed out.

"'Ey, you're finally awake I see!"

"Ugh, where am I?

"We were headed to North Wirrok when we found you on the trail. We thought you were dead for a moment. Thank the Gods you're safe!"

The priest opened his eyes, slowly. He saw he was in a caravan, being pulled by a pair of horses. Suddenly, it hit him.

"Wait, North or South Wirrok?"

"North, bud."

"No! I must head to SOUTH Wirrok! I must!"

"Sorry, but if we go back south, the deliveries will be late. No can do, we must continue heading north."

The priest groaned loudly and tried to stand. "I must go south! My people need help! The Runic Dragon will kill everyone and..."

The trader interrupted. "Wait, you're the guy from THAT town? It still exists?"

"Yes, it still exists, but if I don't get to South Wirrok soon it may not!"

"Well, why didn't you say it was important?!" The trader had turned to the front of the caravan and told his partner to turn back to South Wirrok. They argued for a short while, then finally, it was turned around.

Four more days passed. They had finally reached South Wirrok. The priest got out and thanked the two men for their help. He reached in his satchel to pay some money, when he was stopped. "Don't. We're not a taxi service. Besides, it's an emergency; you have more important matters to attend."

"Well, thank you anyway. One last question: Where is the Majistere family's house?"

"Oh, it's that big one next to the town hall."

"Thank you."

The priest had quickly walked up the pathway to the house, having lost enough time thanks to the wolf. He knocked loudly on the door. After a while, a man who the priest guessed was about 50 years old answered the door.

"Are you mister Majistere?"

"Yes, but please, call me Tim."

"Okay, Tim, do you think you can lend me the Sword of the Gods? I need it to kill a Runic Dragon terrorizing my village!"

"Normally, I'd say no and get the job done myself, but I've retired as a dragon slayer. You can have the sword. Just please hurry and return it as soon as you can."

"Thank you!" The priest happily exclaimed. Finally, he had the sword needed to slay the Runic Dragon! He was about to leave when he was stopped. "Sonny, I need to tell you something first!"

"Yes, Tim, what is it?"

"This sword alone won't kill the Runic Dragon. You'll also need the magic words to weaken its magic."

"Okay, could you give me those words?"

Tim wrote them down on a piece of parchment and handed it to the priest. "Be sure you say it BEFORE you start hacking the dragon or else it won't work."

The priest began his trip back. Luckily, it was actually faster from South Wirrok than North Wirrok. While the trek from his town to North Wirrok zigzagged quite a bit, it was a straight path back from South Wirrok.

As the priest enters his town, he sees disaster struck again. His home was completely destroyed by the dragon's breath. "You knew. You tried to kill me before I killed you." the priest yelled. "Well, it's YOU who will die."

The priest headed over to the dragon's lair. Stepping over burnt skeletons of previous warriors, fear coursed through every vein in his body. He pressed onwards regardless.

He enters the dragon's cave to see some light peeking in from the cracks in the ceiling. The dragon was enraged to see him. It whipped its tail at him and knocked him into the wall. The sword was dropped and was left at the entrance of the cave. The dragon continued its assault by a blast of flame. The priest had jumped out of the way just in time, as only the end of his robe was burned. The priest ran back to the sword and had barely ducked under another blast of fire. He grabbed the sword, jumped over the dragon's claw, and shouted the magic words:

YOU JUST LOST THE GAME!
« Last Edit: September 11, 2009, 12:32:10 am by Sarah »
Logged
It's okay, we've all been literally retarded at some point in our lives.

Evan20000

  • Nuke 'em
  • Administrator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 4084
  • Forum Archangel
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #668 on: September 11, 2009, 12:39:22 am »

Smiled.
Logged

Your videos could just be you in a Nazi outfit, shitting into a bucket while doing the can-can and they'd already be miles ahead of Pewdiepie.

OLDGREG

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 834
  • Resident troll
    • View Profile
    • Silent Loner's fan Site!
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #669 on: September 11, 2009, 12:41:33 am »

Logged

Rad

  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 2223
  • Radical Dood
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #670 on: September 11, 2009, 12:46:16 am »

saw it coming.
Logged
"I want Rad's dick."

Sarah

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 256
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #671 on: September 11, 2009, 12:48:45 am »

saw it coming.

Ah, really? Crap. It took me like a half hour to write that. :(
Logged
It's okay, we've all been literally retarded at some point in our lives.

Evan20000

  • Nuke 'em
  • Administrator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 4084
  • Forum Archangel
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #672 on: September 11, 2009, 12:50:51 am »

I also saw it coming, but it was still good due to the obvious amount of effort put in.
Logged

Your videos could just be you in a Nazi outfit, shitting into a bucket while doing the can-can and they'd already be miles ahead of Pewdiepie.

Rad

  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 2223
  • Radical Dood
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #673 on: September 11, 2009, 01:07:15 am »

saw it coming.

Ah, really? Crap. It took me like a half hour to write that. :(

It was worth the read, and the only reason i saw it coming was the "magic words".
Logged
"I want Rad's dick."

Salamander

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 244
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #674 on: September 11, 2009, 11:23:03 am »

Logged
<Kayin> You know, I always said necroing is okay, but the other admins ignore me. :(
Pages: 1 ... 43 44 [45] 46 47 ... 589