I Wanna Be The Forums!

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Chat button has been eaten. Click here to join in the idling fun!

Pages: 1 ... 74 75 [76] 77 78 ... 589

Author Topic: Laugh = Lose  (Read 794933 times)

ybbald

  • Guest
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1125 on: October 27, 2009, 07:26:57 pm »

Logged

ybbald

  • Guest
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1126 on: October 27, 2009, 07:44:39 pm »

A young man was walking the streets of Paris. Suddenly he saw a rottweiler attacking a young girl. He jumped on the dog, struggled with him and strangled it. Both he and the girl escaped with minor scratches.
Immediately, excited journalists surrounded him and said:
What is your name? All Paris will hear of you, and the headlines
will be: "A Parisian hero saved a little girl from a savage dog".

Said the man:I am not Parisian.

The journalists: O.K, so all France will hear of you and the
headlines will be :"A French hero saved a little girl from a savage
dog".

The man: But I am not French.

Journalists: OK, so all Europe will hear of you and the headlines
will read: "A European hero saved a little girl from a savage dog".

The man: But I am not from Europe.
Journalists: So where are you from?

The man: I am from Israel.

Journalists: OK, so all the world will hear of you and the headline
in all of tomorrow's papers will read: "Israeli killed a little girl's dog."
Logged

dsk

  • Lawful Evil Moderator
  • Global Moderator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 3655
  • Like a phoenix
    • View Profile
    • Youtube videos!
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1127 on: October 27, 2009, 09:03:50 pm »

We have the same joke here, but it's about soccer teams.

And yes, I have 3 cats.
Logged

liquidCorgster

  • Signature Moderator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 2947
  • hanged man
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1128 on: October 27, 2009, 10:26:23 pm »

A young man was walking the streets of Paris. Suddenly he saw a rottweiler attacking a young girl. He jumped on the dog, struggled with him and strangled it. Both he and the girl escaped with minor scratches.
Immediately, excited journalists surrounded him and said:
What is your name? All Paris will hear of you, and the headlines
will be: "A Parisian hero saved a little girl from a savage dog".

Said the man:I am not Parisian.

The journalists: O.K, so all France will hear of you and the
headlines will be :"A French hero saved a little girl from a savage
dog".

The man: But I am not French.

Journalists: OK, so all Europe will hear of you and the headlines
will read: "A European hero saved a little girl from a savage dog".

The man: But I am not from Europe.
Journalists: So where are you from?

The man: I am from Israel.

Journalists: OK, so all the world will hear of you and the headline
in all of tomorrow's papers will read: "Israeli killed a little girl's dog."

I almost lost.
Logged

Evan20000

  • Nuke 'em
  • Administrator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 4084
  • Forum Archangel
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1129 on: October 27, 2009, 10:38:38 pm »

A young man was walking the streets of Paris. Suddenly he saw a rottweiler attacking a young girl. He jumped on the dog, struggled with him and strangled it. Both he and the girl escaped with minor scratches.
Immediately, excited journalists surrounded him and said:
What is your name? All Paris will hear of you, and the headlines
will be: "A Parisian hero saved a little girl from a savage dog".

Said the man:I am not Parisian.

The journalists: O.K, so all France will hear of you and the
headlines will be :"A French hero saved a little girl from a savage
dog".

The man: But I am not French.

Journalists: OK, so all Europe will hear of you and the headlines
will read: "A European hero saved a little girl from a savage dog".

The man: But I am not from Europe.
Journalists: So where are you from?

The man: I am from Israel.

Journalists: OK, so all the world will hear of you and the headline
in all of tomorrow's papers will read: "Israeli killed a little girl's dog."

I almost lost.
If I was in a better mood I would have lost.
Logged

Your videos could just be you in a Nazi outfit, shitting into a bucket while doing the can-can and they'd already be miles ahead of Pewdiepie.

ybbald

  • Guest
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1130 on: October 28, 2009, 12:14:57 pm »

Bob is in the army. After 4 months of being in the army, his girlfriend sent him a letter saying she'd slept with 2 guys since he'd left and wanted to break-up and all the pictures he had of her sent back. So Bob did what any other American would do. He went around to all his army buddies and asked for pictures of girls they wouldn't mind giving up. He then took all the pictures, some decent, some X-rated, and put them in a big envelope to send to his girlfriend with a note saying "I don't remember you. Please remove your pictures and send the rest back."
Logged

Evan20000

  • Nuke 'em
  • Administrator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 4084
  • Forum Archangel
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1131 on: October 28, 2009, 12:34:33 pm »

Bob is in the army. After 4 months of being in the army, his girlfriend sent him a letter saying she'd slept with 2 guys since he'd left and wanted to break-up and all the pictures he had of her sent back. So Bob did what any other American would do. He went around to all his army buddies and asked for pictures of girls they wouldn't mind giving up. He then took all the pictures, some decent, some X-rated, and put them in a big envelope to send to his girlfriend with a note saying "I don't remember you. Please remove your pictures and send the rest back."
Almost.
Logged

Your videos could just be you in a Nazi outfit, shitting into a bucket while doing the can-can and they'd already be miles ahead of Pewdiepie.

ybbald

  • Guest
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1132 on: October 28, 2009, 12:41:19 pm »

What's the difference between a pigeon and an investment banker?
[A pigeon can still make a deposit on a new BMW.]


Did you hear that Sarah Palin DOUBLED her foreign affairs experience this morning? She had breakfast at IHOP.



I came home early from work today, and saw a naked guy jogging past me.
I asked him "Why are you doing that?"
He replied "Because you came home early from work."



This followed the incident where an Iraqi reporter threw his shoes at President Bush during a press conference.

“Have you watched this tape? Some people are criticizing the Secret Service, because the shoe thrower caught them off guard. The man was able to throw a second shoe. A spokesman for the Secret Service said, ‘Sorry, but we were laughing our asses off.’” -Conan O’Brien
Logged

Evan20000

  • Nuke 'em
  • Administrator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 4084
  • Forum Archangel
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1133 on: October 28, 2009, 12:55:36 pm »



Did you hear that Sarah Palin DOUBLED her foreign affairs experience this morning? She had breakfast at IHOP.

Fuck you.
Logged

Your videos could just be you in a Nazi outfit, shitting into a bucket while doing the can-can and they'd already be miles ahead of Pewdiepie.

liquidCorgster

  • Signature Moderator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 2947
  • hanged man
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1134 on: October 30, 2009, 11:32:52 am »

Logged

matlab

  • IWBTF Prophet
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 1152
  • TO THE MATLAB
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1135 on: October 30, 2009, 11:47:19 am »

almost
Logged
うらめしや

YuPony

  • Totally Banned Forever Okay
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 685
  • /Facepalm
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1136 on: October 30, 2009, 03:04:22 pm »

                                                                                 
                          DZ,::,,8                                             
                         ,~++++++O+IO                                           
                       O=++++++++8+++I+                                         
                       =7+++++++++++++?O                                       
                      M+I++++++++++++++?7                                       
                      $++$++++++++O+++???8                                     
                      ?++?++++++++O++++??IN                                     
                      ++++?++++++++++++???ID                                   
                      ++++Z++++++++I+++????7                                   
                      Z++++?+++++++8+++????IN                                   
                      8++++7+++++++I+???????Z                                   
                       +++++$+++++++++??????I                                   
                       O++++=+++++++8+??????I?                                 
                        +++++O++++??Z???????ID                                 
                        I++??++?+??+?????????$                                 
                         O????Z??????N???????I                                 
                          Z????7?????????????I                                 
                           ????I+?????I??????I7                                 
                           I????N?????N??????IN                                 
                            I?????????+??????ID                                 
                             N?????????D?????I8                                 
                              I????????7?????I$                                 
                               +????????I????II                                 
                                +Z???????????III??78                           
                               D???????????????I??????IN                       
                             N??+?????????????IZ???????IIIN                     
   8~~~=N                  8++++++?+??????????IO????????IIIIO                   
  I~~~~~~~:N              ++=:~+++++?????????????????????II7777I               
  D~~~~~~~~~~D          +++:::~+++???????????????????????IIII7N7Z   8+?+       
  O~~~~~~~~~~~=         +++::=+++++????????????????????I??IIIIZ77M??????       
  D~~~~~~~~~~~~~D      +++++++++++?????????????????????$M?IIII77IIMII??$       
  N~~~~~~~~~~~===M    $+++++++++??????????????????????N IM?I7I77III8IIIN       
  O:~~~~~~~~=~=====   IZO?+++++???????$..M?????????????NNDNIII777III7777IID     
   ~~N:~~~~~~======I M??+++O+?????????O7INM????????????MZZMIII$77777777777IIO   
   ~~~~:N~~~=~===+==7+???++?+8?????????NDON?????????????NO7I7I877777$7777777I8 
   +~~~~~~~8~==M~?D$M??????????????????MOZZ??????????????IIII7D777777777777$   
   N=~~~~~~~=~D~O+??????D7??????D???????$DN??????????????II7INM7777777777D     
    ~~==~=~=====M+???????????????O??????????????????????II$O$7O7777II77$       
    +============Z+??????????????++???????????????????+O877$7N+$777D7777       
    8==========++8+???????????????MD7????????+++?7N87ID7$$7$8++M77$M7777       
     ==========+Z+????????????????+IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII$7$$++++$8      D       
     D=====++=+++??????????????????OIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII??????D+++++N               
      =+++==+==O?????????????II????MIIIIIIIII??+++=======+=++++M               
      D+=+===+D??????????IIII7III77MIIIIII++++==========I++++8                 
       =+++++Z==+???II7777777777777N+DII++============I++++N                   
       O+????N8NDNMNO$D+$II778D777IO++~M===========+D=++=N                     
        O???II??????ID???+?ID???IMZ++++++=OOI+IZD==++IN7777D                   
         7M??I?I????7????7?I?????II7ZND++=======+DO??777777778                 
          I????????+7?????O???????III77I7II?I?I?????D777777IIIIIM               
           ??III??IMI????????O??????IIID??I????????N777777IIIIIIII?8           
            7I?????7I?????+??D+???????IOI?????????D7777777IIIIIIII?ID           
             D?I???II?????NI?8?????????N??????+??ZN77777777IIIIIIIIZ           
               I?I7IIIIIIIIDII+????????N???+?+?D        +DM8ZZO8               
                I?OIIIIIIIII8Z$????????N???+D77                                 
                   II77I7IIZ  D????????NN777777                                 
                   I7II7I7M    7???????D7777$8                                 
                   OIIIIID      I??????O  ZM8                                   
                   +INIZM        $I????                                         
                     $D?          8$INM                                         
                                                                               

   _____         _   _                  _           _ _      _                          _ _    _         
  / ____|       (_) | |                | |         | (_)    | |                        | | |  (_)         
 | (___   ___    _  | |__   ___ _ __ __| |  _   _  | |_  ___| | __  _ __ ___  _   _  __| | | ___ _ __ ____
  \___ \ / _ \  | | | '_ \ / _ \ '__/ _` | | | | | | | |/ _ \ |/ / | '_ ` _ \| | | |/ _` | |/ / | '_ \_  /
  ____) | (_) | | | | | | |  __/ | | (_| | | |_| | | | |  __/   <  | | | | | | |_| | (_| |   <| | |_) / /
 |_____/ \___/  |_| |_| |_|\___|_|  \__,_|  \__,_| |_|_|\___|_|\_\ |_| |_| |_|\__,_|\__,_|_|\_\_| .__/___|
                                                                                                | |       
Logged

Evan20000

  • Nuke 'em
  • Administrator
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 4084
  • Forum Archangel
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1137 on: October 30, 2009, 03:08:42 pm »

Disable emotes.
Logged

Your videos could just be you in a Nazi outfit, shitting into a bucket while doing the can-can and they'd already be miles ahead of Pewdiepie.

matlab

  • IWBTF Prophet
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 1152
  • TO THE MATLAB
    • View Profile
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1138 on: October 30, 2009, 03:10:59 pm »

Logged
うらめしや

Ellipsis

  • Ellipsis
  • The Guy
  • *****
  • Posts: 1907
    • View Profile
    • If Not Equal Limited
Re: Laugh = Lose
« Reply #1139 on: October 30, 2009, 03:19:36 pm »


  ___                _
 / __|___  ___  __ _| |___
| (_ / _ \/ _ \/ _` |   -_)
 \___\___/\___/\__, |_\___|
               |___/
Logged
Pages: 1 ... 74 75 [76] 77 78 ... 589